i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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