I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
