You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
