I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
