Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
