True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
