you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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