put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize