So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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