i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
