I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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