I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize