PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
