I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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