Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
