I think I won the penis lottery.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
