I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
