Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
