You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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