woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize