I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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