i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im part way to drunk.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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