On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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