what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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