so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
