Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
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I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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