I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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