Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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