Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize