is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
