I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
