come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
