I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize