We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
