i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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