I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
