i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
