How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
