I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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