we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
