He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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