i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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