don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
