Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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