"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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