barbara walters just said penis...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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