I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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