Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.