is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize