Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you never un-have a 4some
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.