Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.