I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...