What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
