Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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