Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
being pregnant is like rehab
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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