Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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