u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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