I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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