don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
