so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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